Hypnotherapy and acupuncture.

The hypnotherapy worked a treat with saying goodbye to my Mum. It was very distressing but it took away that awful feeling in my solar plexus. It's been a while since I blogged on here as I got better and ran amock for a few months then all hell broke loose and crashed a bit. Kept going a bit and now I'm on my way up from a down again!

I asked my husband to leave and he left in May 2012 then we had a custody battle and I lost out as I work shifts so see very little of my daughter now. I had to specify when I could have her and I couldn't say too many nights a week as I couldn't commit to it with work. My ex won't work with me either on it but that's because I change my mind all the time and am a pain in the arse! Probably for the best anyway as I feel I can't control her behaviour when I do have her and havent the energy or the strength to get her to do the things I want her to do. For which I'm seeing a relationship councellor for. He's very good! Not coming to terms with not being able to be the Mum I want to be is hard work and having the ex's girlfriend looking after my daughter the is soul destroying.


Anyway, I'm told not to be a victim anymore and stop feeling sorry for myself. With regards to my mental health, my wonderful acupuncturist is insisting I keep well and keep seeing her to keep well. It's usually a financial thing that stops me going because when I feel well I can't justify the cost. But I will keep going as the last year or so alone has been so hard on me. Oops sorry self pity again! I was feeling empty and numb for a long time and I couldn't bare being awake most of the time so I had the crazy idea of coming off my antidepressants!

I tried and failed as the side effects were horrendous. So I've halved it now and subsequently halfed my mood stabilisers too or I end up comatosed! The great thing is I have energy and now 'feel' stuff, which is ace and also manage to go to the loo which is also great as that was a major problem. I know TMI but honestly, it was awful. I've put on a huge amount of weight too and my mood stabilisers get blamed for that as they increase your appetite. But when I met my new partner we started to eat out a lot, which gave me terrible tummy ache due to sluggish bowel and then I had even less energy to exercise (I haven't been biking in a while). I've just started going out with the dog and going for longer and longer walks as my energy levels increase.

But the thought of getting on a bike is too much at the moment. Plus none of my cycling clothes fit me as I've put so much weight on. If I had the money I would do allsorts to keep my health on track but one of the things I really need to do is change my job and get off ridiculous shifts!

I am now tot